you know what's HERE

-so when we died, i tried to bribe the undertaker-

Me without you. My tongue wrapped around the ice, absorbing flavor. His conservativeness keeping him slightly too far away from me. I'm here, breaking glass, keeping temperature. Soldier boy looking over his shoulder for me, putting her first. Christian joking. She's a thrill. Change, changing. He's set in his boundaries. I'm tasting mint, clean and pure, anti-everything that was ever discussed. He keeps him at her back. It's a simple equation. I'm in after two and I can be so easily convinced. I have the desire. Another man, love. He takes off the sweater draped about my shoulders, biting trembling glossed lips. A man, love. His mouth on my skin, body pressed against mine. I close my eyes; by doing so, I let him in. By default. Simple. Easy. Done. Given. My fight rendered useless. Pushing against ocean currents, tides, revolutions. Configuring galaxies in my favor, feeding starlight energy into dark matter interior knowledge. UP and down, him and around and into and through me again and again. Lines that tell my story, find me HERE. Sunshine faking the daylight, concentrate on keeping my stars. I'll keep my skirts tied up into bows, boy. I'll keep those stockings attached to hooks and the heels unbroken laced. Hearing thick, cutting roses. And where to keep the blood loss, the end? It blurs out of me, wet sand, pushed away barefoot.

You without me. Perfect sunflower blonde with full lips and chest, small waist and hips. Long, trim legs, sunlit. She is desire. You smile that smile you always smile at me at her. You give her my smile. Freely. She hangs on your every word. She wants to have your children. Pretty babies, gives to you that happiness. Freely. She listens to you; she hears you. She reaches for you and keeps your hand in hers. She breathes you in, when you arrive home, and she comes to greet you, and her lips touch your neck gently. You smell her sunshine hair as your hands wrap around her little body. It's easy for you take her to your bed, man you are. You embrace her and she doesn't allow your lips to part, except the slow removal of pieces of clothes, her black lace camisole, the black laced knickers you trace with lips. You're kissing her now, up her back, to her neck, moving her ethereal strands, lips on ears, lips on cheeks. She tells you she loves you. There is no attack, no fierce, it's sweet, it's love. Love her and make love to her. Freely.

Whirling back into my heartless black hole, emptiness. Violator broken, little red lines tracing. Gonna drown, gonna keep on drowning.